Dead Hearts Are Everywhere
by deadshimizu
Summary: The Inter-Regional Psychiatric Hospital, renowned for its flawless treatment and care, is the best place around for troubled kids. It also happens to be full of dorky teenagers who need more than a little help. Moderately fluffy hospital AU that contains Jadeshipping, heavily implied Orginalshipping, Preciousmetals and Originshipping.
1. Dead Hearts, Dead Eyes

Yellow POV  
Stupid mom, I don't need to get "better" I just need to get thinner. Can no one else see how overweight I am? Whatever, they're probably all just pretending not to, to make me feel better.

"And this is your room, dear," the nurse stops speaking, not that I've been listening. She's gesturing to the door in front of me, which she opens and motions for me to go inside. "Blue, this is your new roommate, Yellow, please try to be civil," the nurse is speaking again, but I'm not paying attention, I'm too wrapped up in starting at the girl in front of me. Her eyes are a piercing ice blue, and her shoulder length hair is a really pretty chocolate brown. "I'll be leaving then. Yellow, if you need anything, please let me know." I nod, still not really listening, and go to sit down on the bed across from the "Blue" girl.

The bed is fairly soft, with a jade green blanket and plain white sheets. Nothing special. I lie down, letting myself zone out for a few seconds, hoping that I might burn a few calories by thinking hard enough.

"Hey kid," the girl pipes up, and I turn over to face her. "Go eat something; you look like you're dying." Her expression is firm, eyes frighteningly serious and a frown etched onto her face.

Just like everyone else…

I nod and get up, no real intention of getting food, it'd just erase all the progress I've made. I stumble towards the door, lightheaded and tired from my lack of sleep.

I wonder if she can tell I'm lying. I wonder if she even knows why I am here. I wonder if I'll get any sleep tonight…

I turn another corner, not sure where I'm going, not sure I really care. As long as there are no mirrors or food, I should be a-okay. Eventually I find a secluded corner by a window, where I can see the rain falling steadily, like it has been all week. I sit there for a while, zoning out, just thinking, until a pair of navy converse high-tops enter my field of vision.

"Liar," I look up and see Blue, her eyes angry, with a hint of something else I can't quite make out. I smile up at her, nodding.

What did she expect?

I'm suddenly on my feet, losing my balance slightly as I'm dragged in what I'm assuming is the direction of the cafeteria. My head is spinning, running a marathon around an entire racing stadium two times over, and nothing comes back into focus until a plate of spaghetti is placed in front of me, and a very ticked looking Blue sits across from me. "Eat," she growls harshly.

I look up at her, trying to convey somehow that I really can't eat; just the thought of it is giving me the overwhelming urge to run away. I look at her eyes again, something about them just intrigues me, and this time all I see in them is... sympathy? Nah, probably not.

"Now Yellow." I flinch as she says this, trying not to whimper. Why did Mom think this was a good idea?

"I can't," I surprise myself with how pathetic my voice sounds, not having used it in a while. I can feel Blue's eyes on me, probably looking at me with disgust as I keep my head down, too afraid to look up.

"Say ah," she says after a few seconds of silence, and I finally look up at her, only to get a forkful of spaghetti shoveled into my mouth. I blink in surprise, almost spitting it back out but somehow managing to chew and swallow it, despite how sick it's making me feel. Trying to catch my breath, I sigh and try to relax a little, my shoulders still unbearably tense. She holds another forkful up to my mouth and I look down guiltily before hesitantly looking at her eyes again. They seem to be hiding a smile as she shoves the fork into my mouth again, practically force-feeding me. They've certainly softened since I last looked at them; they seem almost kind now, like I could trust them.

"I-I don't think I can eat anymore," I murmur weakly, a combination of feeling full and feeling sick from all the calories that just got forced into me rendering me unable to eat more. Blue looks a little disappointed, but otherwise nods, putting the fork back down and telling me to stay here while she goes to get something. As always, I let my thoughts wander until they come to such a blank I can't even remember where I am. Someone's hand touches my shoulder and I immediately squeak and flinch away, the touch too similar to Hers.

"It's just me," Blue's voice makes a chip in the wall of fear I had just built up, allowing me to relax. Letting out a shaky sigh, I open my eyes, getting up to follow her out.

"That's good," I murmur to myself, memories of Her plaguing my sleep-deprived brain, forcing me to remember all those years I spent hurting myself.

"Go to sleep," Blue sighs, snapping me out of my reverie. When did we get back to our room? When did I change? "Now Yellow."

I nod, curling into a ball and praying I won't have any nightmares tonight.

Who am I kidding, of course I'll have nightmares…

[CLEVER TRANSITION!]

_A hand on my shoulder, gripping tightly, the person's nails digging into my arm so much that blood is pouring from the wounds. They shake me, and shake and shake until I can't think anymore._

"_Yellow! Yellow!" voices echo all around me, different pitches, some in entirely different languages. "Fatty! Fatty!" voices everywhere, screaming at me, it hurts._

_Hands on my shoulders, her hands to be precise, the nails digging in so much blood is leaking steadily from the cuts. "Yellow's a fatty! Yellow's a fatty!"_

_I feel like screaming, feel like slamming my hands over my ears and just laying here for the rest of my life, wherever here is._

"_Yellow, honey, why can't you just die?"_

My eyes fly open and I try to contain a whimper, my mind still dwelling in my nightmare. My breathing is erratic, my face is dripping with sweat, my heart is beating painfully fast and I still feel sick from eating. I turn over as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Her, since She's probably still in the bed next to mine. The room is distorting, warping and spinning as I try to be silent, try not to sob.

"It's alright," I whisper to myself quietly, closing my eyes. "You're fine." Sometimes I wish someone else would say that to me, I wish someone could hold me and stroke my hair while they whisper comforting words to me.

But that'll never happen, I don't deserve it anyways.

I snap back to reality when I hear a groan come from the other side of the room, sitting bolt upright and praying She won't wake up and hurt me again. But with my luck, she slowly rises looking over to me. My body freezes, shoulders tensing and heart beating faster than normal, causing me to silently hyperventilate and bite my tongue to prevent any sobs from escaping my throat, severely hoping She'll go back to sleep. She doesn't. She stands and looks down at me, dull gray eyes boring into me, long faded burgundy hair falling just past her shoulders.

"Breathe," I open my eyes, not even remembering when I closed them, and in front of me is Blue, her face centimeters away from mine. "Now Yellow."

I shakily take in a breath, my lungs burning, apparently devoid of oxygen. I let it out, closing my eyes again in an attempt to calm myself down.

"Keep going," she frowns, placing a hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch again. She quickly takes it off, giving me an apologetic look before letting her hand fall back onto my messed up blankets. I take in another breath, letting it out with a shiver. "One of the doctors will be here in a minute with medicine," she explains slowly, getting back up. "Try to calm down a little more before they come in, otherwise they might take you to the quiet room." I nod in response, shivering some more as I look around for the suit case that my mom apparently dropped off here. Before I can even think about getting up, the door bursts open and in comes a doctor. He's holding a tray, with a needle and a couple of bottles.

"Blue, come get your… medicine," he looks to the side almost guiltily. In the span of a few seconds, she has the needled jabbed into her forearm, and eerie grin plastered onto her face. She giggles as she takes it out, running her sleeve over her clouded eyes and grinning again.

"More?" she chuckles, looking like an excited puppy.

"No, that's all you're getting until tonight," he frowns, walking over to me. He stops once he looks at my face, his eyebrows furrowing. "Would you come with me for a moment?" he smiles, and obviously fake smile, taking my arm. My skin crawls, causing my shaking to worsen. His grip tightens as he forcefully drags my overweight body out the door and into the hall. I look back to Blue, hoping she'll come help me, no matter how idiotic I am. She's standing in the doorway, guilty frown replacing the mad grin, her now much clearer eyes lock onto mine and she seems to be trying to apologize.

The man takes me down several corners and turns, until we're in front of two double doors labeled "Quiet Room." A girl, who looks around Blue's age, sits next to the door, her knees pulled up to her chest.

"Sapphire," the man sighs "you shouldn't be waiting here; she won't be out for a while. You know what happened to her, you caused it after all." What are they talking about?

"I don't care," she growls, her voice moderately deep as she flips her middle finger up "I'm not leaving without Hikari."

"Do what you wish, but at least go eat breakfast," he shrugs.

The girl rolls her eyes, and the doctor ignores her, shoving me inside. He takes me to another room, with entirely white walls. "I'll come to get you a little later dear, just sit down for a moment."

I nod, something I do a lot, and sit down in the corner, pulling my knees up to my chest. I look up when I hear the click of the door closing and clunk of a lock, shocked and scared I simply hug my knees closer and let loose a sob. My lungs start burning as I let myself sob for god only knows how long, getting rid of anything I've held in for the past few hours. My stomach growls painfully as I let my body go limp and fall onto the floor, breathing heavily.

"Are you ready to go now?" the voice of the doctor from earlier drifts into the room, and I look up at him from my position on the floor, nodding vigorously. We both walk back out into the hall, where the girl is still huddled. She looks up at me, still worried about her friend most likely.

The doctor lets me go on my own, and I shakily walk back to my room, feeling oddly lightheaded. Once I get there, my breathing has almost returned to normal but I still feel like I'm gonna pass out any second now. Before I can even reach for the doorknob, the door swings open, revealing the worried face of Blue, her eyes fully clear, and as always, frighteningly sharp.

"Yellow?" she asks quietly "are you alright?" She takes a step closer to me, and surprisingly I don't tense in any way; unsurprisingly, because I'm too lightheaded to see straight. "They didn't hurt you, did they?" she mumbles, taking another step towards me. "Yellow? Can you hear me?"

Hmmm… Her eyes are… so pretty

* * *

hellooooo it is I, cronxmakaftw, but with a new account! I'm just putting this here so it doesn't look like I'm stealing anything


	2. Dead Hearts, Dead Dreams

Blue POV

So far, I've figured out three things about the new kid.

1: She doesn't like being touched. She'll flinch or whimper if I so much as take a step towards her.

2: Her eyes look broken. They're a dull jade color, and they look dead and hollow, which frightens me greatly.

And 3: She's still hiding something. Something the doctors and her parents don't know about. I intend to find out what it is.

"Blue come get your… medicine," the doctor frowns, looking at me in disgust. Oh… forgot he was here. Guess I was too wrapped up in getting Yellow to calm down. Wonder what got her so worked up anyways.

I quickly get up, anticipation and adrenaline running on overdrive. I snag the needle off the tray, not even bothering to prepare myself and just sliding it into the base of my wrist. I feel myself start to smile as the heroin rushes into my blood, my head already spinning and movements slowing.

God I love this stuff…

I look back over at him, he sneers, looking at my wrists. I giggle at his ignorance and give it back to him, wiping my eyes and leaning against the wall. He walks over to Yellow, who ever so slightly inches away from him, once again confirming my haphephobia theory.

"Would you come with me for a moment?" Shit. Kid's getting stuck in the quiet room already.

Well almost everyone goes there on their first day, but still...

When I look up again, he's got her drug half way out the door, and she's still shaking. Poor kid, hope she's not in there for long, she needs to eat something.

"Honestly, I'm surprised I even got her to eat yesterday," I murmur to myself, falling onto my bed with a muffled thump. I was a little harsh on her yesterday, but people like her really piss me off.

Sure, she's well versed in being hungry, but has she experienced being hungry, and knowing that there isn't any food.

Uggh my head feels all fuzzy…

"Blue? You in there?" someone knocks on the door, and despite feeling like I'm swimming through molasses, I get up to answer. "Well, you look like shit." I'm met with the smirking face of my childhood friend.

"Gee thanks Green, that makes me feel so much better."

"Hey, just making sure you're alright!" he shrugs, pushing his way past me and flopping onto Yellow's bed. "So how's the new munchkin, giving you any trouble?"

"What am I, a therapist? No she's not giving me trouble; she's only giving herself trouble," I growl at him, hoping he'll leave me to my sluggish thoughts.

"Why, what's she here for?"

"Anorexia, apparently," I sigh, lying down on my bed and pulling the blankets up over my legs, shivering. We're both silent for a few minutes, my heavy breath being the only sound in the room. Eventually he gets up and leaves, not saying a word, probably in one of his moods again. I flip over, looking at the clock on the wall. 11:58

When did three hours pass..?

Shit, Yellow's been gone for three hours. How shaken up was she!?

I quickly get up, a little too fast but I really don't care, and race to the door, determined to go check on Yellow.

I open the door and she's standing right in front of me, her eyes bloodshot and the area around them rubbed raw.

"Yellow?" I ask quietly, going by instinct. "Are you alright?" I raise an eyebrow at her lack of tension; she'd usually be flinching by now. A sudden thought crosses my mind and it takes every ounce of self control not to start shouting. "They didn't hurt you did they?" I ask frantically, taking another step towards her. She just continues to look up at me, her broken eyes locking onto mine. "Yellow? Can you hear me?"

The next thing I know, she's gone completely limp and collapsing.

"Yellow!" I reach out as quickly as I can, taking both of her arms and gently helping her into a sort of standing position, her leaning onto me while I hold both of her arms.

Well… this is a thing.

Yellow POV

The first I thing I notice when I wake up is that I'm nuzzled against something soft and green. The second thing I notice is that someone's talking to me, and that their voice sounds really familiar. Who is that again? Oh right, Blue…

"I'm fine," I murmur in response to whatever it was she just said, my head still feeling a little fuzzy. I manage to look up at her, her unclouded icy eyes looking a little worried.

"No, you're not. Food, now," she says firmly, her tone just as harsh as last night. I resist the urge to close my eyes a fall asleep, my head aching and the area around me spinning. "Can you stand on your own?" she asks quietly, loosening her grip on my arms. It's only then I realize I've been face first into her hoodie for the past few minutes; I hadn't even bothered to see if I could stand.

"I, uh, th-think so," I stammer pushing myself up slowly. A flash of black makes me realize I've closed my eyes again, but I honestly can't find the strength open them.

"Obviously not," Blue sighs. I feel myself being lifted up and I manage to blink my eyes open slowly. Blue's carrying me, most likely walking to the cafeteria again.

"I think I can st-stand now," I mumble, looking up at her. She nods, putting me down and I use the wall to steady myself before walking in with her. She leads me to a corner near a table where a couple other people are talking. I involuntarily tense as we near them.

"Krys, this is Yellow," Blue nods in my direction as she begins talking to a girl with light blue pigtails. She looks down at me for minute, probably analyzing me.

"Hmm. You're skinny, what are you here for?" the girl looks me over, no emotion crossing her face. "Anorexia, right?" she mumbles before I can even open my mouth. I nod, confused and a little weirded out. "Do try to like yourself a little more; we wouldn't want your condition to end in death." Blue sighs, and opens her mouth to say something

"Enchante, mademoiselle!" someone takes my arm and tugs me away from Blue and the other girl before she can say anything, spinning me around until I'm facing them. I'm met with a pair of energetic sandy-gold eyes, and an unsettling grin. "Might you grace me with your name?"

"Her name's Yellow," Blue tugs me back over to her, glaring at the boy in front of us. "Why don't you go flirt with Silver or something, Gold." Odd name. "Hold on a sec, I'll get you something to eat," Blue looks back down at me, frowning.

I nod in response, hoping to just walk out when no one's looking. And that's exactly what I do; or at least I try to anyways. Once I get to the doors, I'm blocked by the girl from earlier, who looks down at me questioningly. What was her name? Sapphire?

"Where are you going kiddo? Lunch only just started," she raises her eyebrows. I gulp, feeling my legs buckle from the dizziness.

"I'm ge-getting something from my r-r-room," I mumble, sidestepping past her.

"Alright whatever, just watch out for druggie, she's glarin' daggers at'cha." I look back at Blue, who looks ready to kill me. I give my best attempt at an apologetic smile before sprinting out and heading to my room. Once there I head to my now found suitcase and root around in the side pockets until my hands close around the familiar handle of my only friend. My sailor's knife.

I know I shouldn't have brought it with me, I know the doctors are just gonna take it away when they find it, but I can't imagine not hurting myself. Flipping open the main bade, I run my fingers over the smooth silver surface. I feel myself start to smile as I nick one of my fingers, causing a little bit of blood to spill out.

I want to hurt more…

I flinch and spin around when the door clicks open, making myself dizzy again.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Blue raises her eyebrows, waking toward me. I swing my hands behind my back, flipping the knife closed before I give her a fake smile and duck under her, bolting back out the door. I continue running, hearing Blue following me I try to sprint faster. Eventually, after losing Blue around a couple corners, I ram straight into that girl again, prompting her to spin around.

"Forgot something in your room hunh? Who're you running from?" she smirks, reaching out to block my path.

"Yellow!" I whirl around to see Blue rounding a corner, heading straight toward me.

Crap, what have I gotten myself into this time?

In a last attempt to run I duck under Sapphire's arm as well and continue my sprint to nowhere.

"Need any help druggie?" I hear Sapphire laugh from behind me, most likely addressing Blue.

"Help would be appreciated," Blue sighs and by the sound of it continues running.

My lungs start burning again as I turn yet another corner, Sapphire and Blue trailing behind me, both out of breath.

"Hey kid, you wanna slow down a little?" Sapphire calls up to me, grumbling. How the hell am I managing this even though I couldn't stand a few minutes ago? I turn back around to look where I'm going, only to be met with a face full of door.

"Gold what did you do!?" is the last thing I hear before crumpling to the floor, the unexpected blow leaving me devoid of energy.

Blue POV

Rounding the corner to see Yellow collapsing again and a very guilty looking Gold peeking out from behind the door was not something I expected to see today.

"Gold what did you do!?" Sapphire hisses, stalking up to him.

"I was just leaving to get lunch and I kicked the door open as usual and I guess she was right in front of it I don't know I just ended up hitting her and I didn't know she was there honest!" he spits, a little too quickly for me to understand all of it but whatever.

I walk over to Yellow, looking down at her. Her eyebrows are furrowed like she's in pain and she's shaking again.

Jeez what first day she's had…

I pick her up, holding her close to me as I leave Sapphire and Gold to argue over whether kicking doors open is a good thing or not.

Yellow POV

_Droplets of rain fall silently all around me, a thick silver fog surrounding the entire area and making it impossible to see. I feel numb, and weak, but I feel warm at the same time. Is this death? Is this what it feels like to be dead? I like it…_

"_Your mind is dark, little one," a thunderous voice sounds from out of nowhere, starling me. "It is dark and full of despair and loneliness." The fog rolls over me, burning and nipping at my skin with its sub zero temperature. "It needs solace." A sudden pain in my arms alerts me of every wound I've inflicted upon myself opening and spilling out a thick grayish-black liquid. "Your loneliness has tainted your blood and soul, little one," the voice continues speaking, and my body starts trembling again. "You need someone to help purify it." A flash of blue leads me to blink my eyes open._

I find myself staring up at a blank white space.

"Am I dead?" I sigh without thinking, closing my eyes again.

"No," someone says, taking in a breath.

"Oh…"

I open my eyes again, sitting up, and upon closer inspection I find I'm back in my room; lights off, blankets pulled up to my chest and Blue sitting on the edge of the bed. My head's pounding and my lungs feels like they have a six ton weight on them. My arms are hurting too, each individual scar aching, yearning to be ripped open as viciously as possible.

"How are you feeling?" Blue asks after a few seconds of silence, getting up.

"My h-head hurts, but I'm f-fi-fine." My voice sounds pathetic as always, quiet and shaky, breathless and hollow. I want to hurt. I want to hurt so badly right now. I want to just take my knife and rip my arms apart, to just bleed to death. It takes me a minute to realize the Blue is speaking again, but my thundering migraine is making it impossible to hear what she's saying. I'm also met with the familiar feeling of nausea as the room starts spinning again, warping into something unrecognizable.

"Yellow," She says slowly, grey eyes staring down at me in disgust "are you listening?" Silence hangs heavily in the air as she awaits my answer. "Do I have to hurt you again?" she takes a step closer. "Do I have to punish you again?" No! Please… "You're such a worthless child."

"I'm sorry!" I yelp, pulling my knees up to my chest. "I'm sorry, please don't hurt me!" I mutter my apology over and over and bury my face in my knees, severely hoping She'll leave me alone. I fail to suppress more shivers as Her hand rests on my shoulder.

"It's alright."

Am I talking to myself again?

"Everything is alright."

No, it sounds too gentle to be me.

"You're fine."

I'm engulfed in hazy warmth, my shoulders finally relaxing.

"M'sorry," I murmur into whatever it is my head is resting against, sighing tiredly.

"No need to apologize," the gentle voice says again, beginning to play with my hair. I find myself leaning into the warmth, breathing in the faint scent of smoky marshmallows and for the first time in a long time, I feel something. Something I couldn't bring myself to feel.

I feel safe.


	3. Dead Hearts, Dead Fear

Trigger warning for a bit of self-harm at the end!

* * *

Yellow POV

It takes me a minute to realize that I've been hugging Blue for god knows how long, but I feel too warm to bring myself to care.

"Are you okay now?" she mumbles.

"Mhmm," I sigh, my grip on her shirt loosening considerably. "Sorry," I mutter shakily as I shiver again.

"It's alright," she smiles, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I feel my face heat up at the gesture, red undoubtedly spreading across it. Her hand lingers, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. "What are these?" her eyes lock onto mine as her fingers dance over the scars from all those broken bottles.

"Nothing," I shift my gaze to the blankets, her unwavering eyes almost intimidating. She gives me a look that screams 'You really think I'll believe that?' and sighs.

"They don't seem like nothing." Her hand ghosts over the remnants of the gash near my forehead, little bursts of pain following in their wake. "What about this one," her lips twitch downwards in a concerned frown "is this one nothing too?"

"I like to pretend it is." I like to pretend all of them are nothing; to pretend that both the scars and the bruises don't exist anymore.

"And this?" she sighs, sweeping her thumb across the hollow under my eye, where the skin's turned a dark purple-ish gray. "How much sleep do you usually get?"

"Not enough, I'm guessing," I mumble sheepishly, letting my shoulders relax again. Her hands continue to wander around my face, exploring every mark or unusual feature on it until they eventually come to rest on my shoulders, causing them to stiffen.

"Are you afraid of this?" she asks after what feels like weeks of silence. I don't answer her, letting my rigid shoulders and trembling body speak for me. "It's alright y'know," she smiles again, brushing another strand of hair out of my face. "I'm not going to hurt you."

And I find myself believing her.

"A-alright," I gulp "I trust you." How long has it been since I've felt like this? Two years… maybe three. Trust is something I've learned to practice in moderation.

"Blue, are you in here?" someone knocks on the door, before clicking it open. He's a fairly tall doctor, his teal hair styled rather oddly, and his coat on almost like a cape. He looks us over for a few seconds, before bringing his hands up to his mouth. "Oh you two look absolutely adorable! You know what you need? Cute animal hoodies. They would be great for this! And maybe we could braid you hair? Yes, yes, Blue would look lovely with her hair French braided!"

Um… What?

"Wallace! Hurry up!" A different voice floats in from down the hall, and a shorter man with steel blue hair and faded cerulean eyes grabs the taller doctor's arm.

"Doctor Mikuri," Blue starts slowly, taking her hands off my shoulders and standing up. "As much as I appreciate your… concern, I think you and doctor Stone should go back t the rec-room, me and Yellow will be down in a minute."

"Of course, of course! See you in a minute then dears!" the teal haired man, who I'm assuming is doctor Mikuri, smiles waving at us.

"Sorry about him," the other doctor, most likely doctor Stone sighs, leading the taller man down the hallway.

Once they're gone, Blue turns back to me, holding out a hand to help me up. Shivering once again, I grab it and try to steady myself as we walk out into the hall.

"Every second night or so, the two doctors we ran into let us pick a movie to watch," she explains as she leads me down the hall. "I'm pretty sure we're watching Brothers Grimm tonight. Most likely Gold's fault." I nod in response, my focus shifting to the floor. Blue nudges me as we walk into the room, and I look up to see where I'm going. Only to be met with the sight of someone I haven't seen in a long, long time.

"Yellow?" I force myself to look up at the worried face of my friend Flannery. "You're visiting, right?" The fire in her eyes ebbs away into dull embers. "Please tell me you're only visiting," she bites her lip, moving to hug me.

"S-sorry," I mumble quietly, looking away. I notice Blue watching us silently, everyone else's attention fixed on the movie. Flannery lets go off me for a moment, pulling back and looking me over.

Please don't notice, please don't notice, please don't notice…

"You've grown since I last saw you, haven't you?" she smiles. It's a small smile, but it's still there. She tucks a strand of lose hair behind one of my ears, redoing Blue's recently undone work. "But you're still so tiny, hunh?"

"Flannery," I grumble, mock frowning. A scream from the movie startles me into jumping, resulting in me losing my balance and Blue catching me again.

"And still a klutz I see!" she laughs, her smile growing. At least she's not upset with me anymore. "Go on and watch the movie, I have to get back to work." I nod, sidestepping over to Blue and sitting down with her on a nearby couch. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Flannery silently kick the door open, and Sapphire get up and follow her. Hunh, I wonder where they're going.

"Jesus Christ! What is even happening?!" Gold hisses, jumping and nearly grabbing onto the red-haired boy next to him. I look back to the screen only to see the rather disturbing sight of a girl being eaten by a horse.

Well… won't be getting that image out of my head for a while.

As the movie goes on, I find myself ignoring it, letting my eyes fall shut as I start thinking about the sailor's knife in my pocket. It's one of two things my parents left me before they disappeared; the other being an oversized indigo hoodie.

Both the knife and the hoodie have been my only salvation for as long as I can remember. The knife provided cold pain and the hoodie gave me warmth and a safe haven. What more could I ask for?

"Yellow?" Blue whispers, a slight hint of amusement in her tone as she interrupts my train of thought. I feel something brush against my ear, and suddenly Blue's voice is much clearer. "You asleep?" she asks mischievously, her breath tickling my ear.

Whoa wait what?

"N-no!" I yelp, quickly sitting up and almost sliding off the couch. Everyone else seems to have left, the room empty aside from me, Blue, and one of the doctors just outside the door. "J-just because I said I tr-trust you doe-doesn't mean you get fr-free reign on touching me," I mumble shakily, looking away from her.

"Awwh, you're no fun!"

"Wh-what were you trying to do, p-pu-pull and Edward or s-something?"

"You're pretty cute when you get feisty, y'know that?"

Cute? She thinks _I'm_ cute?

Is she blind?

"Wh-whatever," I stand up slowly, turning back to her before we both walk back to our room.

Blue seems a lot nicer than she was the other day. Maybe it's just me, but she doesn't seem as angry with me. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, I don't know.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed, and you probably should too," she yawns as we enter the room, stretching her arms above her head. She practically jumps onto her bed, quickly grabbing the blankets and burrowing under them. Kinda like Flannery used to… "That means now Yellow." It's only then I realize I've been standing in the doorway for the past few minutes. I follow her example, crawling under my blankets, since it does seem particularly cold tonight.

"G-goodnight Blue," I mutter quietly, turning over to face the wall.

"Night."

I stare at the wall in silence for a bit, my eyes refusing to close. My focus once again shifts to my sailor's knife. Maybe I could play with it for a bit? I shove my hands into my pocket, pulling out the aforementioned silver blade, flipping it open and placing it over my index finger. Blood drops down onto the sheets, making little stains. I run the knife over the rest of fingers, god knows how many times, until my entire hand is covered in the inky red liquid spurting from the wounds.

But it's not enough. It's not nearly enough.


	4. Dead Hearts, Dead Boy

Yellow POV

By the time I come back to reality, my hand is drenched, my knife is on the floor and I've turned around, now facing Blue's bed.

Hunh, did I fall asleep?

Slowly sitting up and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I get up and quietly walk over to the door. I look back at Blue for a second, noticing her blankets thrown over the side of the bed, and her shivering slightly. Tip-toeing over to her bedside, I pull up her blankets, rolling my eyes at that fact that she's wearing a tank-top in the middle of November. Out of instinct, I almost lean down to kiss her forehead, but stop myself rather quickly and turn away, almost bolting out the door.

Once I'm out in the unusually cold hallways, I let my thoughts wander, as I do the same; just walking around aimlessly.

"Someone's up early," I hear a familiar laugh and I whirl around to see who it is. Flannery stands at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall. Her hair is down, the messy red waves falling over her shoulders and stopping at her waist; an unusual sight. "Then again, aren't you always?" I don't respond- well really I can't, my voice doesn't seem to want to work. "C'mere kiddo," she smiles, a kind smile that I don't deserve. In a matter of seconds I'm in her arms again, wrapping my own around her and burying my face in the baggy purple t-shirt I don't remember her ever having. Her hands start to entangle themselves in my hair, twirling little strands of it between her fingers. "What's wrong?"

"I feel fat." My voice bursts from my throat in a sudden wrack of spontaneous sobbing. Her hands stop moving, instead resting limply on my shoulders.

"Oh honey," her grip on my shoulders tightens "you're anything but." She starts playing with my hair again as I sniffle, attempting to calm myself down. "You're a smart, beautiful, creative girl." We stay like this for a few minutes; her playing with my hair and me leaning onto her like my legs wouldn't work. "I wanna show you somethin'." She pulls back, taking my non-bloody hoodie covered hand and leading me down a separate hall. She'd done my hair into a side braid, taking it out of its usual ponytail.

"This is the art room!" she smiles again, throwing her other arm out in a slightly overdramatic gesture to show me the room. "It's got sketchpads, craft supplies, fabrics," she lists a few more things while unlocking the door "and painting supplies." She grins as I step inside, my eyes falling on the blank canvas and barely-used bottles of paint sitting next to an old baseball cap on the table.

"I'm g-gonna be here a-a while," I nod slowly, and Flannery chuckles.

"Go be that creative cutie we both know you are," she leans down to kiss my forehead before leaving and nearly ramming into a tired looking girl with long lavender hair. Said lavender haired girl then lightly smacks her shoulder and Flannery moves to kiss her forehead too.

Pulling up my sleeves and pulling a pair of old gauntlets from out of my endless pockets, I grab a brush and start choosing my colors; having already decided what to paint. With a blackish blue covering the tip of my brush, I flick my brush across the white slate in front of me, staining it with a shadowy smear. Perfect.

"Who are you?" A boy walks in, startling me a little. His matted brown hair is mostly covered by an old red and black baseball cap, his skin is white as a sheet and his eyes are a hollow brown and his body is hidden under a baggy blue jacket and a pair of long black jeans.

"I-I'm Y-Ye-Yellow." My hand shakes slightly, and I pull back as to not ruin my painting. He nods, taking off his hat twirling it between his slim, boney fingers. Eventually he looks over my shoulder, his dark brown eyes surveying my work.

"What are you painting?"

"An old f-f-friend," I mumble, placing the brush down onto the paint-stained table and picking up another, dipping it in the little puddle of white paint on my palette. I sweep the brush across the middle in kind of circular shape; filling in the middle and moving back to the blue surrounding it add some little details.

"You're very good at this," he murmurs, his eyes falling onto the hat on the table. "Though you haven't done it in a while." I flinch. How did he know that? "You're so shy about it though…" He's turned away from me now, staring down at the hat as he heads for the door. "I think you're wonderful, you need to be more confident."

I shake my head slightly, turning back to the canvas. Before I can get very far though, Blue stumbles by and looks in at me before almost falling through the doorway. She rolls her head to one side, an audible crack echoing throughout the room as she grits her teeth.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

Blue POV

Waking up to Yellow gone and little droplets of red on her sheets was not how expected this morning to start.

Then again, getting knocked out with a baseball bat by some weirdo in a mask was not how I expected my 5th birthday to go either.

Shaking off any thoughts of my utterly fucked up childhood, I find myself up and out the door in a matter of seconds. Why am I so worried about her anyways, she's just a painfully shy, yet frustratingly enigmatic sack of bones with non-existent self-esteem and dead eyes.

But she's unbearably cute. Brownie points for being adorable.

"Morning Blue, where are you off to so early?" I recognize the blank voice of Sabrina, my "therapist." All she ever does is ask me shit about my aforementioned childhood and talk to me about my relations with people.

"Can't talk, busy," I snap, clenching my fists and push past her. My head hurts, and she's only making it worse. She calls after me, voice empty and no meaning fueling her words.

So I don't look back.

She'll only keep making my head worse anyways. She always does. She'll have some in her office, some pills and needles that'll make it better; she has a bunch. But she never lets me have any when I'm there. I've tried to explain it to her, tried to explain that just one needle would make it all better. But all she ever says is that I can only have it in the morning, and if I really need it after supper.

But I always need it. I need it to keep the dreams away. I need it to relax, to actually feel at peace.

"You need to be more confident." A vaguely familiar voice snaps me back to the reality of the pain in my head and the existence of the rest of the world. Black walks past me, N's old hat in his hands. He came from the direction of the art room, so I might as well check there to see if he was actually talking to someone.

Low and behold, Yellow's there, sweeping a brush over the old canvas that's been set up for weeks. My head throbs once more as I stumble into the room, causing her to look up at me.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I growl. Dammit Blue don't be so harsh on the kid… "Well?" more words start spewing out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"I w-w-was ju-just-"

"Whatever, just come on." Before I can stop myself, I grab her wrist and start dragging her out, making her drop her brush. My grip on her wrist tightens as the pounding in my head gets worse.

Maybe Yellow has some pills or a needle.

Maybe she's taking 'em all for herself. Greedy little shit.

God I'm gonna fucking lose it…

Yellow POV

The next thing I know my back is slammed against the wall and Blue's face is centimeters away from mine.

"Give it." Her nails dig into my shoulder, and I shrink into myself as much as I can. Her eyes are dull, but wild and her mouth is twisted into a harsh frown. "Now Yellow."

"G-g-give w-what?" I mumble, flinching as she leans closer.

"You know what I mean you little shit," she snaps, letting go of my shoulders to instead hold my arms above my head, her other hand rooting through my pocket. "You've got some don't you? You've got your own fix, a fix that I need."

"B-Blue?" She jabs her arm into my stomach, effectively silencing me.

"Come on now," she sighs "where'd you put it?" A weight lifts from my pocket and I know she's got the knife.

But what can I do? She's both stronger and taller than me, giving her the obvious advantage.

Might as well just let her have it, she'd have found it eventually anyways.

Besides, everyone has to come to hate me at some point, right?

"Blue!" Suddenly I've sunken down to the floor and Blue's been pulled back by a boy with spiky brown hair. "Pull yourself together dammit!" he growls, pulling her somewhere down the hall.

"Are you okay?" I look up to see a woman with long raven hair, faded magenta eyes and a neutral frown. I nod shakily, slowly standing up and making sure my knife is still there.

Thank god…

"Sorry about her." The woman's voice brings me back to reality, and I realize she's leading me down a different hallway. "Blue gets like that sometimes, not very often though." Her voice is flat, no emotion leaking into it. "I'm Sabrina, by the way, both her, and your doctor, just so you know." I nod again, trying to regain my ability to breathe properly.

In and out Yellow, in and out…

"Here, take one of these, and go lie down for a bit," she says calmly handing me a small white pill. "If Blue's already back, don't worry about it, she won't really be able to do anything to you." I nod numbly, turning around and hoping to easily find my way back to my room. "I'll be seeing you this afternoon, just after lunch," she calls out to me, her voice still flat. I give her a thumbs-up to signal that I heard her before continuing to stumble down the hall.

Knocking back the pill Sabrina gave me, I open the door, having successfully finding my room without trouble. Blue's lying on her bed, turned away from and looking down at something in her hands; quietly, as not to disturb her if she's asleep, I walk over to my own bed and lie down. The second my head falls onto the pillow, my eyes start to droop and all the tension from the last few hours dissipates as I swallow the last of the pill.

As I continue to stare at the blank ceiling, I silently hope that I won't dream, or at least if I do that it's a good one.

Turning over in a last attempt to get comfortable, I see what Blue was looking down at.

The exact thing I was painting earlier.

A round, white mask, with two black circles over the eyes, and a small, v shaped smile.

And then I don't see anything.


	5. Dead Hearts, Live Warmth

Yellow POV

_I blink my eyes open, and find myself surrounded by faded blue, little sparks of white light floating all around me. In front of me stands a tall, silver mirror, the borders full of intricate details. My wrists are in shackles, the chains locked to two posts drilled into the floor. My ankles are bound too, chains leading to different bolts in the ground. The chains, oddly enough, make no noise as I lift my arms up to look at them. _

_I turn my attention to the mirror, watching the clear pane of glass likes it's the most important thing. _

_In it, I see myself. I see myself slashing my wrists, and searching frantically for bandages. I see myself locking the door and covering my ears. I see myself hunched over homework, and my hand shaking as I try to ignore the blood dribbling down the side of my face. I see myself lashing out at Her, shoving past her and running out into the snow. I see myself lying there, shivering violently and just waiting to die. I see the little bottle of sleeping pills on the top shelf._

_I see half the bottle's contents in my hands._

_And then I see flashing lights, and Karen fallen on her knees, holding my nearly dead body close to her chest._

"It's just a dream," Blue says softly "nothing but a dream." I'm suddenly aware of the hand stroking my hair, and the hushed voice of another person. I find myself letting out a whimper as I also become painfully aware of the hunger pains in my stomach. "Everything's alright."

"Jeez druggie what are ya, some kinda miracle worker?" the hushed voice from earlier pipes up, and I immediately recognize it as Sapphire.

"No," Blue sighs sounding more than a little annoyed "I just know what to do in this kinda of situation."

"I'll say mate," Sapphire laughs, her voice getting closer. "Junior's been tossin' and turnin' like that for quite a bit."

"And you didn't do anything?" Blue sounds annoyed again, her voice low and grumbling.

"I didn't really know what to do," Sapphire mutters in response, starting to sound angry herself.

"What would you do if Hikari was in obvious discomfort like that?" Blue sighs again.

"I dunno, she goes to fucking Cyn before she bothers to tell me what's up!"

"Maybe because she's afraid a big selfish brute like you is gonna hurt her," a weight lifts from the bed, notifying me that Blue has stood up.

"I dare ya to fuckin' say that one more time, mate!" I manage crack an eye open to look at them. Blue is leaning against a wall, arms crossed and Sapphire is in front of her, drawing one of her fists back.

In the span of a few seconds I'm up and bracing myself for the black-eye I'm about to get. I bite my lip as a fist connects with my left eye for what has t be the hundredth time in my life. Sapphire pulls back immediately and Blue just stands there gaping.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I notice the time and realize I have to go see the woman from earlier. I mumble something about being back later, and quickly stumble out into the hall, rubbing a hand over my eye. I continue to blindly walk down the halls until I reach Sabrina's office door, knocking on it a couple times and silently looking up at her when she opens it.

"S-s-sorry I'm a l-little late," I stammer as she gestures for me to come in and sit down. "I only j-j-j-just woke up."

"You've been asleep all morning?" she sounds a little surprised, but otherwise her voice is still blank and empty. It's kind of disturbing… "Well, tell me a little bit about yourself," she takes a seat in the chair across from me, crossing her legs and leaning back.

"L-l-like why I'm h-h-here?" she nods. "But d-don't you already kn-know that?"

"I don't mean to be Doctor Phil but the first step to getting better is to admit that you actually need to get better. So, story time, tell me why you're here."

"Anorexia," I surprise myself with my lack of stuttering. I don't know what it is about it, but that word just sounds so compelling. She nods, something swirling through her eyes that doesn't make into her voice when she speaks.

"And pray tell, Yellow, what is it that made you turn to starving yourself?" her head tilts to the side slightly as she raises her eyebrows. Before I can even think of an answer, the door swings open and Sapphire quite literally falls in, Blue tripping over her and landing on the floor next to her.

"Sabrina mate, you seen Junior?" Sapp groans from her spot on the floor, and I get up to go help her.

"If you two would kindly regain your sanity for a moment, you'd notice that she's standing right in front of you. Now would you mind explaining what could possibly have made you search for her so frantically?" Sabrina glares down at the two of them and they both look away as quickly as possible.

"First of all," Sapphire sighs, turning to me as I help her stand up "I'm so sorry, and please never do that again y'almost gave me a heart attack," she ruffles my hair before turning to Sabrina. I sidestep over to Blue, flinching when she looks up at me.

"A-Are you f-felling better?" I mumble, reaching out to help her up. She looks at me like I just suggested we all swallow cyanide.

"Yellow," she sighs "I should be asking you that." She frowns, something she does quite often, and lightly brushes the area around my left eye.

"I-It's fine, I-I've had w-w-worse." Oh god what did I just say?

"Now if you two would kindly leave so Yellow can finish explaining herself," Sabrina sighs, shoving Sapphire and Blue out the door. I sit down again, and this time she stays standing, pacing from one side of the room to the other. "You live with your adoptive mother, correct?"

"Y-yes," I stammer, dread settling like a weight on my chest.

"And you two are both happy, correct?"

"Y-ye-y-yes," my head starts to get fuzzy and my mind is screaming at to tell her what really happens.

"You aren't suffering any abuse?"

"N-no," I say as firmly as possible, glancing to the left.

"And how's your school life? No bullies? Good friends?"

"I-it's fine. I'm not being bu-bullied," my voice cracks a little as my eyes roam around the room "and I have g-good fr-fr-friends."

"How lost are you?" her eyes lock onto mine, and I find myself strangely unable to look away. "The maze in your mind, how far in are you?"

"I-I d-don't know," I mumble, finally breaking away from her gaze. There's a long stretch of silence before she lets out a sigh.

"You're being duplicitous," she glares at me coldly, her dark magenta eyes boring into mine. "Stop lying." I shrink back in myself, looking anywhere but her eyes. "We're done, you may go."

Once I'm out in the hall I let out a shaky sigh before slowly heading to my room again. My head is still fuzzy, and my stomach is practically throbbing with hunger and it's making me unbearably dizzy.

"So how'd it go?" Blue asks when I open the door, sitting up and putting her book down.

"She's c-creepy," I say simply falling onto my bed and burrowing under the blankets. "C-can I ask you s-s-something?" I mumble after a few minutes.

"Sure."

"W-what does being dupl-plicitous mean?" She stares at me for a second, almost like she's scared.

"If Sabrina wants to know something, you should tell her the truth," she says warningly, completely ignoring my previous question.

"I d-d-don't want t-to tell her th-though. I don't want t-t-to tell anyone," I sniffle, my voice muffled by my pillow.

"And why don't you want to tell anyone?" she asks softly, and I suddenly feel safe again.

"She'll h-hurt me if d-do," a weight on the end of the bed alerts me of Blue's presence. Her hand rests itself on my head, stroking my hair.

"Who will?" she murmurs, her voice gentle and soft.

"L-Lorelei," I shiver slightly at the mention of Her name. "Sh-she said me she'd hurt me if I t-t-told anyb-body."

"Does she hurt you often?"

"N-no…"

"Yellow," she warns.

"Yes," I curl in on myself, pulling the blankets around my shoulders. Blue mutters something about sitting up for a second, and I do, only for her to wrap her arms around my waist and pull me back down. She nuzzles the spot behind my ear and starts humming something. "Blue?" I ask after a few minutes of silence. Why hasn't she let go?

"Shhh, just rest for a minute, this is the first time you haven't been scared when I touched you; I wanna enjoy it a little," she sighs again, almost like she's purring.

I don't really know how long we stayed like this. All I know is that at some point we both fell asleep and I woke up with my arms around her neck and our foreheads pressed together.

"Anyone in here?" someone opens the door, and I turn my head as much as possible to see who it is. Flannery stands in the doorway, the lavender-haired girl standing beside her.

"F-Flannery?" I yawn, attempting to sit up, only to be pulled back down by a sleepy Blue.

"Awwh still a cuddle-bug I see! Anyways, Karen just called; she said she's coming to visit tomorrow morning!"

Oh god…


	6. Dead Hearts, Live Relief

Blue POV

Yellow comes stumbling through the door almost an hour after me and Sapp were shoved out of Sabrina's office. Hmm… She stumbles a lot; I wonder how dizzy she is on a daily basis.

"So how'd it go?" I ask hopefully as she practically falls onto her bed.

"She's c-creepy," she mumbles as she wraps the blankets around herself. A few minutes of silence pass before she starts speaking again. "C-can I ask you s-s-something?"

"Sure," I nod, looking over at her.

""W-what does being dupl-plicitous mean?" My eyes lock onto hers for a second, my throat drying up.

"If Sabrina wants to know something, you should tell her the truth," I sigh, attempting to warn her of what she's getting into.

"I d-d-don't want t-to tell her th-though. I don't want t-t-t-to tell anyone," she sniffles, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"And why don't you want to tell anyone?" I ask quietly, and her shoulders relax a little.

"She'll h-hurt me if d-do," I quickly get up and sit on the end of her bed, reaching out to stroke her hair to help calm her down.

"Who will?" I mumble.

"L-Lorelei," she shivers. "Sh-she said she'd hurt me if I t-t-told anyb-body."

"Does she hurt you often?"

"N-no…"

"Yellow," I frown, noticing her nervousness.

"Yes," she curls up more, tightening her hold on the blanket.

"Sit up for second," I tap her arm and she slowly sits up, rubbing her eyes. I wrap my arms around her, lying down and snuggling closer to her. I find myself nuzzling her a little and humming an old song I made up when I was a kid.

"Blue?"

"Shhh, just rest for a minute, this is the first time you haven't been scared when I touched you; I wanna enjoy it a little," I murmur, nuzzling her some more. She breathes out slowly and snuggles up to me, turning over. I let my own breathing even out, and eventually I find myself completely limp and warm. My eyes fall shut, the last thing I see being a very small smile.

I'm awoken from a hazy dream of fire by the sound of a very distressed Yellow muttering "Oh god" to herself over and over. Her eyes are wide and riddled with fear, rapidly glancing around the room.

"What is it?" I yawn, holding her a little tighter. She goes rigid, her breath hitching and her eyes shaking slightly as they lock onto mine. Such a shame, I had finally gotten her to calm down too.

"M-m-my m-mom is co-coming to visit," she stammers nervously "I'm sc-scared, s-s-since I haven't t-talked to her in a while." She relaxes a little as I nuzzle her again.

"Hey now, I'm sure it'll be fine." She looks at me dejectedly for a minute before closing her eyes and lying back down. She very tentatively snuggles up to me, resting her head on my shoulder and exhaling shakily.

"Th-thanks," she murmurs quietly and I find myself playing with her hair again. In the span of a few minutes she's gone completely limp, her breathing having evened itself out and her small hands loosely hanging onto the back of my shirt. I can't help but smile as I move to kiss her forehead, pressing our foreheads together again.

"Are you warm enough?" I ask after a particularly long stretch of comfortable silence. Yellow mumbles something about pills and I realize she's fallen asleep again. "You're really cute, y'know that?" She whispers something incoherent and breathes a sigh of relief as she holds me tighter.

Before I know it, it's an hour past supper time and we're still just laying here and holding each other. Ah well, time flies when you're cuddling.

Yellow POV

When I open my eyes again, I'm staring into half lidded ones resembling melting ice. Blue smiles, and brushes a strand of hair out of my face.

"Morning sleepy head," her smile grows a little as we both sit up "ready for breakfast?"

"B-breakfast?" I yawn, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and forcing myself up.

"You look a little punch-drunk, so you might as well get your energy back up at least."

My stomach flips at the thought of food, while my mind starts telling me how fat I am.

"_Fat little liar, just say no and suck it up."_

"_If you keep on eating like this you're gonna get even fatter."_

"_Yellow's a fatty! Yellow's a fatty!"_

The words keep playing over and over as Blue and I slowly walk down the halls to the cafeteria.

"_Run! You have to run!"_

"_Look at yourself… Disgusting."_

Blue nudges my shoulder and I look up at her. Her smile has faded into a frown, the ice in her eyes fully frozen again and mild fear ghosting over her features. I give her an attempt at a reassuring smile as we continue walking, hoping she'll fall for it.

"Well, if it isn't the duplicitous duo," an all too familiar blank voice pipes up from a shadowy corner. My head snaps up, as does Blue's as we come face to face with Sabrina and her creepy eyes. Said glowing eyes lock onto mine and I find myself unable to look away.

Suddenly my mind is screaming _"Tell her!"_ over and over and I feel my legs start to buckle underneath me. Images of Her yelling at me flash by until all I can see are blotchy purple bruises and glowing magenta.

"Not her too." I blink a few times and I'm back in the hallway, Blue holding my hand and glaring up at Sabrina. "Whatever it is you're doing stop it," Blue growls, gritting her teeth. She tugs me down the hallway, completely ignoring Sabrina when she looks over at us again, her eyes still glowing eerily. My head gets all fuzzy again and I try my best to shake off the feeling, only for my mind to start talking again.

"_She's found you out y'know."_

"_She knows! She knows!"_

"_You dumb little shit, she's figured you out!"_

A hand on my shoulder alerts me of Blue attempting to get my attention. I look up at her, my vision starting to blur at the edges.

"You okay?" she asks worriedly, tilting her head to the side.

"F-f-fine," I mumble, sitting down at one of the many tables and resting my head in my arms. "Just a bit d-d-dizzy."

"Hang on I'll get you something," she smiles reassuringly "just don't run this time, alright?"

"M'kay…"

Blue comes back with two plates not five minutes later, one piled high with bacon and pancakes and the other holds one minuscule pancake and a couple pieces of bacon.

Both look equally delicious, and terrifying.

"Hope I didn't get too little, or too much for that matter," she says sitting down across from me. Taking a deep breath, I start eating, guilt setting in almost immediately. "So Yellow," she asks through a mouthful of bacon before promptly swallowing it "what's your mom like?"

"Sh-she can be a little s-snarky at t-t-times, but she's very n-nice," I mumble, cutting a small slice off my pancake. "She's not t-terribly fond of str-strangers either." Blue nods, almost as if she's approving something. Three bites of pancake later, Blue straightens up and waves at someone, and before I can turn around someone's hand rests on my shoulder.

"Jasmine, what can we do for you?" Blue smiles, though it looks kinda strained.

"I believe Yellow has a visitor," the woman, Jasmine I think her name was, smiles as well. Blue thanks her and stands up, helping me up and leading back down the hallway. We stop just before the entrance, and I gulp, still ridiculously nervous.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Blue smiles looking down at me. She sweeps some of my bangs out of my face and leans down to kiss my forehead, lingering for a quick nuzzle afterwards. I nod, blush undoubtedly spreading across my face. She gives me one last reassuring smile before I take another deep breath and push open one of the double doors, leading me into the waiting are.

Mom is there, in nothing but combat boots, track pants and a dark gray long sleeved shirt.

"M-mom?" I stammer hesitantly, taking a sudden interest in my faded gray sneakers.

"Yellow!" she grins, spinning around, her turquoise hair bouncing slightly. "How's my little ball of sunshine?" she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug, practically lifting me off the ground and I can't help but smile as I return it.

"I'm f-fine," I laugh quietly as she does actually lift me up, kissing my cheek. She kind of glares at the bruise inevitably forming over my left eye for a moment, frowning. "H-how are you doing?"

"It's lonelier than usual without you there," she frowns "but otherwise I've been doing fine." I look off to the side guiltily. "Ah enough about me, how's your first few days been? Made any new friends?" she grins again, readjusting her grip on me.

"I'm k-kinda friends with my r-r-r-roommate," I mumble, trailing off as I notice something odd. Mom, or really Karen's always had this scar like line running along the side of her face, and now that I think about it, Blue does too. And I did see Blue with a mask just like mom's… I wonder if they know each other.

"Oh? And what's your roommate like?"

"She's really sw-sweet, but kinda int-timidating sometimes." Karen nods in approval, much like Blue had a few minutes prior. She opens her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by the door opening and Blue practically falling through, glaring at Karen like she's about to suffocate me.

"Blue?" Karen draws in a sharp breath, looking at Blue like she's my long lost sister.

"Karen?" Blue raises her eyebrows, almost as if she was mocking mom.

"M-mom?" I stammer again, and Blue nearly falls over again.

"Mom!?" she splutters, looking from me to Karen.

"Blue?" I ask tentatively, hoping down from Karen's arms.

"Yellow," Karen warns, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Uncle Will!" we all turn our heads to the doorway, only to see my Uncle Will standing there grinning, dressed as if he were about to scale Mount Silver. I run up to him, hugging him tightly as he laughs and pats my head.

"Will too?" Blue mumbles. "In all honesty, I though you two kicked the bucket."

"C-can someone pl-please explain what g-g-going on?" I stammer, and everyone looks to me.

"Well Sunshine," Karen starts "I've known Blue ever since I was a kid, she was in the same situation as me and Will. We haven't seen each other in a looooong time," she grimaces, almost shuddering.

"Like I'd want to see that creep again," Blue rolls her eyes, nodding her head in Will's direction.

"I could say the same about you," Karen smirks as Blue grumbles something incoherent. I turn back to my conversation with Uncle Will, asking him how he's been doing and vice-versa. We both look up when we hear Karen laugh. "Oh god no," she chuckles "Me and Will were never like that. Actually I-" She's cut off by the red-haired boy Gold is always yelling at stumbling in an pointing rather dramatically in Will's direction.

"I thought I smelled clown!" he sneers and Will just laughs.

Strange... They all know each other?


	7. Dead Hearts, Dying Communications

Yellow POV

I quickly lose track of how long were all talking and the next thing I know, I'm walking back to my room with Blue laughing beside me.

"I dunno what you were so worried about," Blue smiles as we start heading back to our room "I've never seen Karen so smiley."I stumble a little, nearly falling over "Then again, we didn't grow up in the best conditions," she reaches out to help steady me, smiling again. She grabs my hand, interlocking our fingers to help me keep my balance.

"I-I just d-did something sh-sh-she wasn't happy about last t-t-time I saw her," I sigh, tightening my grip on Blue's hand.

"What'd you do? From my experience not much can get Karen worked up," she raises her eyebrows, smile fading into a questioning frown. My stomach ties up in knots and my throat closes off, as I open my mouth to try and change the subject. "Yellow?" I blink and look up at her, realizing I'd stopped walking.

"S-sorry," I gulp as I shake my head slightly. Blue puts her other hand over my forehead, making a small noise of concern before kissing it again.

"Are you feeling alright?" she throws open the door and sits on my bed with me. "You're a little a feverish," her face contorts into one of worry and I quickly pipe up.

"I'm f-fine d-d-don't w-worry," I stammer, raising my hands like I'm trying to defend myself. "I'm not worth worrying over anyways…" I mumble dejectedly, praying she doesn't hear me.

"Don't say that," Blue almost snarls, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me onto the bed. Her eyes are perfectly clear this time, but they look angry; somthing I've gotten used to. I squeak as she practically straddles me, leaning down so her face is centimeters from mine. "You're plenty worth it," she leans down further and-

She's… k-kissing me…

"I… Um," she stutters, pulling back. I quickly shoot up, my hand over my mouth as I head for the door.

"I-I'l be b-b-back la-later," my voice cracks a little as I fumble with the doorknob and throw the door open again. I ignore Blue's guilty shout of my name and bolt down the halls, fishing though my pockets. Once thoroughly lost I practically rip out my knife and start to tear open my arms.

She kissed me. She kissed a no good, idiotic, stupid, fat, doltish, forgettable, worthless little tramp like me.

Why? We've only known each other for a few days, and even so he should by now that I'm not worth it.

Do I even like her like that? I mean I know I'm into girls, have been for as long as I can remember, but do I actually _like-like_ Blue?

Well she's nice. And smart, and pretty and when she touches me it doesn't feel like she has intentions to hurt me. And she doesn't seem to think I'm annoying or anything. Plus she's helped me with nightmares.

But six days isn't really enough to fall in love with someone is it? Maybe I need to think on this a bit- scratch that, a lot more.

A whimper breaks from my throat and I look down at my forearm, recoiling at the amount of blood that's spilled out. My arm is almost entirely red, the slick coppery liquid spurting from the countless new wounds I've inflicted on myself. Red lines zigzag up and down my arm, differing in length and depth greatly.

"Oh damn," I sigh, biting my lip.

"Awwh, kiddo's first curse word!" Another whimper leaps from my throat as I'm lifted into the air, my sleeve falling back over my arm. It takes me a second to recognize the voice as Sapphire's, and a few more seconds to realize she's talking again.

"…So long story short, Piggy has been looking for ya for a couple hours now-"

"H-hours?" I squeak, trying to wiggle out of her grip; not evening bothering to question the nickname. I only left a few minutes ago, right?

"Yeah," she frowns, letting me down. "Druggie said you ran off just before lunch and she's been searchin' for ya since. It's about three now," she shrugs and looks at me like I belong in a mental hospital.

Right. Already in one.

"R-right," I gulp "I'll go t-t-talk to her." She nods and shrugs again, shoving her hands into her pockets and strolling off in the other direction. "In an ah-hour or f-five," I run a hand through my bangs, trying in vain to stifle my brewing headache. Soon I find myself burying my face in my arms, curled up in the same place as my first day and trying to remember how to breathe.

In and out Yellow, in and out.

I focus my attention to the window again, watching the now frozen rain smash against the icy ground. I sit here for god knows how long, letting myself drift off a little and start daydreaming. Before I know it a pair of navy converse enters my field of vision and a strange feeling of déjà vu sweeps over me.

"Idiot," someone says softly and I feel myself being picked up. The person carrying me is warm, so I don't struggle; I don't think I have the energy to anyways. "God, you had me worried sick," they mutter tiredly, pulling me a little closer. I nuzzle the fabric against my face lightly, the familiar scent of marshmallows and smoke lulling me to that wonderful spot right between sleep and consciousness.

Blue POV

I don't go after Yellow as she bolts out of the room; I just wrap a blanket around my shoulders sit by the door. She did say she'd be back, right? There's no need to worry, right? She said she'd be back, she said she'd be back, she said… she'd be… back…

My eyes dart over to the clock for what feels like and probably is the 100th time in the past little while. 12:34, it's been an hour.

She is coming back, she has to. I'm just over-reacting; this isn't like that time with Silver, she'll come back. Images of back then flash through my mind and before I know it another hour has passed. This time I get up and grab my hoodie, running into the halls and heading to the first person I think of.

"Krys?" I gulp, banging on her door a couple times. She opens it looking more than a little annoyed, though her expression softens when she sees me. "Krys have you seen Yellow? We were just talking a few minutes ago and she ran out on me and she said she'd be back but it's been two hours and I'm really worried so can you help me-" she cuts me off by laying her hands on my shoulders and sighing.

"Blue, you will get a grip or so help me you won't be allowed out of your room for a month," she says calmly, glaring at me. She sits me down on the bed across from Silver and Gold and wraps a blanket around my shoulders, telling me to calm down and wait here for a bit.

I find myself oddly occupied with the show Gold must've left playing on the TV; the mere childishness of the show cheering me up slightly. Within a few minutes I'm comparing the characters to all the crazy nutjobs I'm friends with, silently laughing and trying to keep my mind off the fear building my chest.

I try to reason with myself, saying that Yellow will be fine, and that Krys found her. I say it isn't like that time with Silver, and that they're both breathing and not injured. My eyes dart over to the other bed, where Silver is being strangle-hugged by Gold, both sleeping peacefully.

See Blue, nothing to worry about, Silver's safe and Yellow is too.

"Blue," the door opens nearly two hours later and Krys stands there, slightly out of breath. "Sapphire said she found Yellow, just down the hall near Red and Gre-" I'm up and out the door before she can finish, nearly running. Low and behold, Yellow's exactly where and how I found her the first time she ran; spacing out near the big window showing the forest out back.

"Idiot," I sigh shakily, trying to keep my composure. When I get no response I lean down to pick her up, her weight still frightening. "You had me worried sick." She nuzzles my lightly, and I feel my face heat up. She's so cute, almost like a kitten.

If you know your way around this place, it doesn't take long to get back to your room from almost anywhere; and right now is no exception. In minutes I'm laying Yellow back down in her bed, pulling the blankets up over her.

"I know you're asleep," I start quietly, sitting down on my own bed "but I wanna apologize for earlier." I take a deep breath, shakily letting it out. "When I was a kid, someone told me that kissing someone was a sign of trust." She shifts slightly and turns over. "I j-just wanted you to know you could trust me, and if I didn't get that across I'm sorry." I burrow under the blanket still left on the bed, the other lying next to the door. "I'm not terribly well versed in this kinda stuff, so I probably actually have no idea what I'm doing," I mumble dejectedly, taking one last look at Yellow before attempting to sleep. "G'night…"

* * *

A lazy author appeared! The lazy author used generic apology for being late! 


	8. Dead Hearts, Live Terror

Yellow POV

I look over to Blue as I sit up from a blissfully dreamless sleep; my mind still dwelling on what she said last night. Although mostly unconscious, I was still coherent enough to hear everything she said.

Shaking the thought from my head I stand up, picking some clothes out from my suitcase and heading to the bathroom. Peeling off my hoodie and shirt, I pause to look over the now dried up damage I cause last night; grimacing at the brownish-red blood smears all over my arm. I pull Karen's old Kermit the Frog shirt over my head; the one she gave me back when I first moved in with her. It's baggy as hell and falls down just above my knees, almost looking like a dress as I pull off my pants and haul on my track pants. Taking out my ponytail holder and shaking my hair out a little, I quietly step back into the room, being careful not to wake the still sleeping Blue.

I pause to look at her for a minute before I leave. Again, she's wearing shorts and a t-shirt in negative 3 degree weather, although she does have a pair of mismatched knee socks. One blanket's been kicked off and the other is oddly placed next to the door. Sighing, I pick it up and walk over to her, frowning when she groans and mutters something about smoke. A thought flashes through my mind and my face heats up but I still go through with it. I hesitantly lean down to kiss her forehead, brushing a bit of hair out of her face. No doubt blushing furiously, I pull back and lean against the wall, sinking down to the floor. I reach up a little to take her hand in mine, something both Karen and Flannery used to do with me.

Her face softens and she relaxes, sighing and giving my hand a light, almost unnoticeable squeeze. I can't help but sigh in relief, resting my head against the side of her bed. I can't remember if I actually nodded off or not, but the next thing I know there's a hand on my shoulder and someone's saying my name. I open my eyes and Blue's immediately lock onto mine.

"Yellow? Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare or something?" she fires questions at me worriedly, sitting up and letting go of my hand.

"N-no, it looked like y-y-you were having one," I mumble, looking nervously up at her. "K-Karen used to h-hold my ha-hand whenever it happened to m-me, so I thought it m-mi-might help," I stammer and try to stand up, but Blue grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Thanks," she smiles weakly, shuddering slightly. "Would it be okay if… I held you for a minute?" she mumbles shakily. "I just want to make sure you're actually here." She looks at me like a scared little kid, trembling and shivering with fear as she holds her shaking arms out.

Without a second thought I sit in her lap and wrap my arms around her. She pulls me a little closer and buries her face in my shoulder, sighing and murmuring another thank you.

"D-did you want to t-t-talk about it?" I ask after a few minutes and she shakes her head, sitting up straight again and looking at me.

"Thanks again Yellow," she smiles, pulling me a little closer. She stands without warning, grinning lopsidedly as I squeak and scramble to wrap my legs around her waist so I don't drag her down.

"B-Blue!?" I gulp as she wraps an arm around my back again and opens the door. "W-what are you d-d-doing?" She grins and hums slightly.

"Taking you to breakfast," she says like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"B-but I ate yesterday," I mumble before I can stop myself.

"Rule number one Yellow, everyone has to eat at least two meals a day," she frowns, nuzzling me slightly.

"Rule?" I gulp nervously.

"Yeah, there are eight actually. Me, and Green made them up months ago," Blue looks to side as we turn another corner "You've heard rule one, rule two is no self harming, rule three is no lying, rule four is no secrets," she pauses for a moment.

Way to go Yellow, you've broken half of them so far…

"Rule number five," she sighs "no breaking mirrors, rule number six, get a proper amount of sleep," she glances at me disapprovingly. "Rule number seven, get and or give a hug everyday and rule number eight, try to get better." She huffs after she finishes, readjusting her grip on me. We're mostly silent the rest of the way, her saying a few small things about each rule every now and then.

Barely anyone's in the cafeteria when we get down there, only Sapphire and two other girls I haven't met. One with short, straight blond hair, and the other with long wavy brown hair tied back in a sloppy ponytail. Blue finally puts me down and we sit down at the same lonely table in the corner.

"Been a while since I've had to run down all the rules," she mutters, yawning and resting her head on mine for a second. "You're the first newbie we've had in a while."

"R-Really?" I mumble tiredly, closing my eyes; wincing at the slight pain from my no doubt black eye.

"Yeah, the last couple new kids came almost a year ago now, but they all went home." We're silent for another few minutes, until Blue suddenly stands and exclaims "Right the food!" and slides up to tables piled with food. She brings back about the same thing as yesterday, one plate buried in bacon and pancakes and the other looking more like the food is a speck of dust. My stomach flips again and my mind starts talking before I can do anything to stop it.

"_Look, don't touch," _it says over and over, just like always.

Way back when I wasn't used to being hungry, I would wake up in the middle of the night with hunger pains. So I'd stumble on in to the kitchen and sit in front of the fridge, repeating the museum rule to myself over and over. I did this for months, and the habit carried over even when I moved in with Karen. Lorelei caught me every time, but she'd just keep walking and take another drink. Karen only caught me once. I think she yelled at me but I can't remember. Either way, she couldn't call me out on it later because by the time she got home I'd already… done some near irreversible damage.

"_Look, don't touch," _I tell myself again, staring blankly down at my plate.

"Yellow, eat something," Blue sighs and nudges me, snapping me out of my reverie. I bite my lip, and judging by the rush of coppery liquid I guess I broke skin.

"_Look, don't touch."_

"Now Yellow," she nudges me again.

"_Look. Don't. Touch."_

"Yellow?"

The next thing I know, Blue is yelling something to Sapphire and it feels like all the blood is rushing to my head. My mind just barley manages to register the words "You're gonna be okay," before shutting down and leaving me in the dark.

Blue POV

My heart nearly stops as Yellow's body slumps against mine, resting there limply. It stutters for a minute and suddenly goes into overdrive as I reach for her wrist to check her pulse. It's there, but it's slow.

"Sapphire!" I yell across the near empty room to the half asleep brunette. "Go get Steven, tell him someone fainted," I say as steadily as possible as I lift a wheezing Yellow onto my back. "If he asks for details say it's either from exhaustion or lack of food." She nods and tears out of the cafeteria like a bullet.

Okay, calm down Blue. Everything's going to be fine; Yellow isn't going to die or anything. She better not anyways.

"You're gonna be okay," I mumble nervously, walking faster.

I arrive at the med bay within five minute, and am greeted by the sight of Steven pacing back and forth worriedly. He looks up at me and quickly gestures to one of the empty beds; where I promptly lay Yellow down. He rushes over and pushes me aside, hooking up all kinds of wires and looking her over, the worried expression never leaving his face.

I'm not sure when, but I must've fallen asleep cause the next time I open my eyes, Steven's at his desk and Yellow is tucked in and an array of different medicine bottles are scattered on the table next to her. She's still pale as a sheet, still wheezing and my heart is still hammering through my ribs, painfully reminding me that I'm not dreaming.

"She fainted from a mix of malnutrition and blood loss. While she hasn't lost a fatal amount, she lost enough for some unwanted side effects; and because of her lack of proper energy sustaining nutrients, the effects are even worse."

Lost… blood?

"Is she going to be alright though?" I ask frantically, standing up and clenching my fists. He sighs and walks over to me, putting a hand on my shoulder and sitting me back down before he starts speaking.

"She'll be fine, just keep an eye on her," he smiles reassuringly. "Now, the both of you need rest. I might have to keep you here for overstress if you don't settle down, so take it easy alright?" I nod, my eyes darting back to Yellow. He mentions something about calling him when she wakes up but ignore him, instead rushing to Yellow's side and lacing my fingers through hers.

"Please don't scare me like that," I murmur shakily, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

* * *

Just a note, everything Steven says here is more than likely bullshit just so you know


	9. Dead Hearts, Dead Bones

Yellow POV

The world starts up suddenly; the sound of someone snoring slightly, blinding lights, someone's hand in mine, the taste of iron in my mouth and the faint scent of marshmallows all come hurdling towards me at once.

Hunh… Have I been dreaming this whole time? Am I still stuck in the hospital from that incident?

I open my eyes slowly, cringing as the light becomes even brighter. I find myself staring at a pair of fluorescent lights on a blank ceiling, and promptly turn away, coming face to face with a sleeping Blue and the brown haired boy sitting next to her. Never mind, definitely not dreaming.

"Afternoon kid," he smiles down at me, shifting slightly and nudging Blue. "I'm afraid I actually have to leave now, but tell Blue we're playing the game in the cafeteria at lunch. Don't worry, she'll explain it," he rolls his eyes, standing up to leave and waving as he practically skips out.

Blue stirs slightly and sits up, rubbing her eyes tiredly, almost like a little kid who woke up too early.

"Yellow?" the ice in her eyes melts half way again and she practically jumps up. "Are you okay? You're not feeling dizzy or anything are you? No headaches, or light-headedness? Are you hungry or anything? Wanna get some lunch?" she rushes over her volley of questions, stammering and screwing up on a couple words.

"I'm a-alright," I say quietly, and she sighs, sitting back down and looking to the side. "Wh-what h-h-happened again?" She looks at me worriedly for a minute before talking.

"You passed out at breakfast, so I took you to Steven and he did whatever the doctors in this place do, and here we are." I close my eyes and try to remember it all, but to no avail, everything remains a fuzzy blur.

"The sp-sp-spiky haired b-boy said they we're playing the ga-ga-game in the cafet-t-teria," I mumble and try to sit up. Blue is silent for a moment as she helps me up, an amused smile etching onto her face.

"You've never played the game hunh," she chuckles and I shake my head, immediately regretting it as everything blurs over again. "It's called whose lie is it anyway, and I think either N or Krys came up with it. Anyways, you go around the circle of people and each person tells a lie they've heard recently, and everyone else has to guess who told it and what it was really about." This probably won't end well…

"S-sounds interesting," I mumble, stretching my arms out and cracking my neck.

"Either way, we're going to the cafeteria to get you some food," she sighs and leans down, kissing my forehead before nuzzling it. "Here hop on, I'll give you a piggy back," she grins and hesitantly climb onto her back, wrapping arms around her shoulders.

"A-aren't I too heavy?" I stammer as she practically gallops down the hallway.

"Actually you're terrifyingly light for someone your age," she sighs and my breath hitches. Terrifying… why would it be terrifying if I'm finally getting skinnier?

"W-why is that a bad thing?" I mutter incredulously before I can stop myself. She stops walking for a minute, trying to say something but she keeps tripping over her words.

"You really worry me." She's silent the rest of the way down, only speaking when she asks if I can stand after we get to the cafeteria.

Everyone is all huddled at the one table, the only ones I recognize being Krystal, Sapphire, Gold, the spiky one and the boy in the hat. Blue holds my hand again and leads me over to them all, waving and introducing me to them all, before sitting down next to me and saying something about starting up the game.

"Alrighty then mates, lemme start this one!" Sapphire grins cheekily and cracks her knuckles, looking from person to person. "I slept perfectly," she smirks smugly and a chorus of "Definitely Krys" sounds throughout the room, and Krystal looks away.

"My turn!" a girl with long brown hair tied black in a fluffy ponytail bounces up and down excitedly. "Hmm, oh I know! I'm really excited for lunch today."

"White, I'm pretty sure we've all said that," Blue deadpans, rolling her eyes.

"I guess it's my turn then," the spiky one chuckles. "I didn't mean to break it." Everyone says something about Gold or Sapphire or White and the three of them perk up. The girl with the fluffy ponytail, whom I'm assuming is White, smiles and laughs, Sapphire smirks and Gold cracks a smile, crossing his arms. Everyone starts murmuring to themselves about how it could be either of them, and I almost roll my eyes.

"It was G-gold," I say and everyone turns to me.

"How did you…?" Gold raises his eyebrows shaking his head.

"You c-c-crossed your arms, hiding behind a barrier, even a m-me-metaphorical barrier like cr-crossing your arms is a sign of lying."

"She's right," Krystal smiles, glaring at Gold.

I start to daydream a bit, completely ignoring the game around me until Blue mutters four terrifyingly familiar words.

"She doesn't hurt me."

A weight suddenly crashes onto my shoulders and my lungs feel like they're imploding. My entire body goes rigid, my head spinning and bile rising in the back of my throat.

"Hmmm... Krys again?"

"I thought it might've been Hikari?"

"Whatabout Sapp, she has parent issues right?"

"S'not me mate, maybe... uhh..."

I look up to Blue and she frowns down at me, almost like she's apologizing for something. Everyone else continues to mutter about who it could be, but it sounds like static to me, all my attention focused on trying not to throw up.

"Who was it Blue, we give up," the spiky one shrugs and Blue just sighs.

"They really wouldn't want me to tell you but-"

I'm and walking away within seconds, my hands tightly clutching the fabric of my shirt as opposed to being clamped over my ears. I ignore both Sapphire and Blue calling after me, instead shoving my hand into my sweater pocket and grab onto my knife like it'll keep me alive or something. I don't take it out, I don't cut myself, I just hold onto it.

By the time I get back to my room, Blue is right behind me and saying something about how she didn't tell them anything.

"But why would you say that?" I sniffle and fiddle with the hem of my shirt.

"I have my reasoning," she grumbles and I flinch involuntarily.

"B-but I already told you. I d-don't need anyone else knowing."

"You need to tell someone Yellow," she sighs and I bite my lip.

"But she might hurt you."

"Yellow, I'm not going to-"

"W-what if she finds out and hu-hu-hurts all of you? I don't want you to get hurt! I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me that would just be stupid," I cough out and stare down at my hands, shaking.

"Yellow-"

"I just don't want her to hurt anyone but me and if people know they're going to get hurt! If you all get hurt it'll be my fault and I'll be alone again!" my voice cracks and creaks as I sniffle again and let a sob loose. I feel Blue touch my shoulder and I flinch away again. "Don't touch me! If you touch me you'll only g-g-g-get hurt!"

"Yellow..." she murmurs almost sadly and I run my hands through my bangs and sink to the ground, my legs gone entirely numb.

Within seconds I find myself sobbing into her shoulder and her stroking my hair again. I feel warm and safe and wanted, so I just lean onto her and close my eyes.

"It's alright," she say softly "nobody's gonna get hurt."

An odd feeling washes over me and my chest feels funny and my stomach starts doing flipflops. My pulse suddenly seems ten times louder and I try to gulp down the stream of confused words building up in my throat.

I vaguely remember Flannery mentioned having a crush on someone feeling like this but I disregard it as Blue pulls me closer. Although it's rather difficult to ignore.


	10. Dead Hearts, Death By Walmart

Blue POV

"Junior?" Sapp calls after Yellow as she hops up and starts to walk away. I don't bother to say anything to the others, just standing up and calling after her as well. She ignores the both of us and I get up to go after her.

"Yellow, I didn't tell them," I sigh guiltily once I catch up to her, closing the door behind me. She's silent for a minute before she sniffles and hics a few times.

"But why would you say that?" she mumbles shakily, curling in on herself slightly.

"I have my reasoning," I say slowly, taking a step towards her but stopping short when she flinches.

"B-but I already told you. I d-don't need anyone else knowing."

"You need to tell someone Yellow," I sigh, my mind flashing back to all the things that happened to me when I was a kid.

"But she might hurt you," Yellow pipes up after a moment, her voice wheezy and scared.

"Yellow, I'm not going to-"

"W-what if she finds out and hu-hu-hurts all of you? I don't want you to get hurt! I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me that would just be stupid," she cuts me off, coughing and stammering as she starts to shake.

"Yellow-"

"I just don't want her to hurt anyone but me and if people know they're going to get hurt! If you all get hurt it'll be my fault and I'll be alone again!" Her voice cracks and her sobbing becomes much more apparent. I'm moving before I can even bother protesting, resting my hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me! If you touch me you'll only g-g-g-get hurt!" she flinches away and stares down at her hands, before running them through her bangs.

"Yellow..." I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her towards me just before she falls. I yelp slightly, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her small body as she clings to me and continues sobbing.

"It's alright," I say gently "No one's going to get hurt."

She sniffles a bit and I hold her a little closer, running my hand up and down her back as she whimpers countless apologies and self-directed insults. After a little bit she calms down and stops shaking, although still breathing heavily and sniffling every now and again.

"You wanna maybe lie down or something?" I ask almost hesitantly and she nods limply. I help her up, lightly tugging over to my bed and sitting down with her, laying her head in my lap. She blushes a little as I lay my hand on her forehead.

"Want me to tell you why Wal-Mart employees are probably some of the scariest people you'll ever meet?" I look down at her hopefully and she laughs a little.

"M'kay."

"So when I was a little kid, probably about nine or ten, me and my sibs had just gotten away from some creepy dude who kept trying to hurt us," she looks up at me sympathetically and nods "And we were half starved and broke. So we decided to rob from a Wal-Mart." She chuckles lightly at this, closing her eyes as I continue playing with her hair. "In retrospect it probably wasn't the smartest idea, but we went ahead with it anyhow.

"So my younger brother was pushing our older brother around in a shopping cart while me and big sis threw all sorts of different foods in with him. Candy, popcorn, soda, popsicles, TV dinners, you name it! I think we took two frozen turkeys too, not sure what exactly we planned to do with them, but we took them." I pause for a moment to check if Yellow's still awake before proceeding.

"After raiding the candy aisle, we noticed one of the clerks, a rather grumpy looking guy with weird hair was always there when we turned around. I think he knew we couldn't pay for everything. Anyway, after picking up pretty much three months worth of food, he stormed over to us and started yelling, which we all expected. So little bro told me and big sis to hop on the sides of the cart and don't let go, we did, and he shot out of there like a bullet; our older brother screaming like a five year old the whole time." Yellow giggles and snuggles into me a little. It takes all my self control not to just burst out there and tell her how freaking adorable she is.

"The guy kept chasing us, screaming and hollering at us to stop. We ignored him, nearly running into countless people, and sometimes big sis would yell an apology back to them. The guy chased us for a good twenty minutes, yammering the whole time. By this point little bro was out of breath and couldn't go very much longer," I pause again to try and get the order of events right, my memories kind of a jumbled mess. "We stopped at the top of a huge steep hill, and the Wal-Mart guy was catching up quick. Everyone looked to little bro and we all had the silent agreement of "let's do this" before he made a beeline for the hill and jumped on the back of the cart.

"So there we were, speeding down a hill on a rickety shopping cart full of stolen food and being chased by an angry employee who wouldn't stop cussing at us. Little bro cussed back and then the Wal-Mart guy ran into a hedge, and we sped straight into a warehouse a couple blocks down." I sigh nostalgically as I finish, chuckling as Yellow giggles again, covering her mouth with one of her pale hands.

It's then I notice all the little red scratches on her fingers, some trailing down her hand which is covered by her hoodie sleeve. I can't tell how old they are, but they must be pretty mew to be that vibrantly red. I reach down and take her hand in both of mine. She snaps her eyes open fearfully and jerks her hand away.

"D-don't touch me..."

"Yellow, what are the marks on your hand?" I frown and she sits up, inching away from me until she's at the edge of the bed.

"Wh-what red marks?" she looks around the room, standing up and holding her arms behind her back.

"I never said they were red." We're both silent for a bit, her backing away from me and me following her about the room. "What are they Yellow?" I grit my teeth and reach out to grab her arm, but she ducks underneath my arm and backs into the other wall. "Answer me. What are they?"

"N-nothing," she mumbles, curling in on herself little by little. "They're n-n-nothing."

"Now Yellow."

"I t-t-told you, there n-nothing."

"Bullshit," I grumble and put my hands on her shoulders, holding her against the wall so she doesn't run again. "What. Are. They?" I lean down to the point where my face is centimeters from hers and she bites her lip.

"We seem to be interrupting something," I hear Krys clear her throat and all of a sudden I'm being pulled back by my shirt collar.

"Lord sakes Druggie what're ya doin' to tha poor kid?" Sapphire tsks disapprovingly as she shoves me aside. "Didn't you two hear that last announcement?"

"An-n-n-nouncement?" Yellow stammers quietly, inching away from Sapphire as well.

"The one Steven put on about switching rooms for the night as a weird sort of testy thing?" Krys shrugs from the doorway, looking at us like we're hopeless bozos. "Either way, Yellow has to room with us for the night and you're stuck with the dumb boyfriends."

"Silver and Gold?" I tilt my head to the side, utterly confused by all of this.

"Red and Green," she replies, shaking her head.

Sapphire laughs quietly and grabs Yellow's hand taking her along with them back to their room. Just before Sapp slams the door Yellow turns back to face and mouths "Sorry" and gives me an almost real looking smile.

Almost.


	11. Dead Hearts, Live Pain

Trigger warning for this one too!

* * *

Yellow POV

When Sapphire finally lets go of my arm, we're in what assuming is her room; judging by the fact that the shirt I saw her wearing the other day is thrown over one of the beds. The ceiling beams are exposed, revealing a maze of wooden bars most people would call a jungle-gym.

Sapphire clambers onto the lowest one, climbing up the next few and calling down to me, "C'mon Junior let's have an adventure!" Not knowing what exactly I'm attempting to do, I hop up and pull myself onto the first bar; being careful not to lose my balance as I stand up to move to the next.

"So Junior, what're ya here fer?" she grins at me as she flops down onto the rail above me. "I knows y'ain't fond of food an' such, but what exactly did'ya do to get yourself sent here?"

"Sapphire, you shouldn't ask questions like that," Krystal scolds from below us, rolling her foggy blue eyes.

"I-it's fine," I shrug, pulling my knees up to my chest. "I w-was in the hospital a bit before and I-I-I ran away for r-re-reasons I'd rath-th-ther not say. When I came back, I got sent here," I mumble and with each word the both of them seem to get more and more upset.

Sapphire breaks the silence first, leaning down with a hesitant grin and holding out her hand saying "High five for bein' runaway buddies!" She laughs as I unsteadily reach up to high five her, holding onto the rail for dear life. "I got stuck in tha hospital too- hit by a soda truck- and my parents didn't give two flyin' fadoodles 'bout me so I hooked it over to my uncle's. I came back , they flipped their lids and badabing, here I am!"

"You make that sound like a good thing," Krystal tsks amusedly, shaking her head.

"It is a good thing in my book Piggy. Say why don't you tell us what'chyu did to get here?"

"Didn't I say you shouldn't say things like that?"

"Awwwh come on Piggy you're no fun!" the two of them start bickering quietly, Sapphire hopping down onto the bed next to Krystal. I watch silently as Sapphire nudges Krystal's side and Krystal shoving back.

Its 4 hours later and they're both asleep now, Sapphire having fallen onto the floor and sprawled herself out almost like a bear and Krystal curled up like a cat on the end of the bed. I find myself digging into my pockets since they're not looking; digging through them in desperate search of sharpness.

I pause for a minute and ask myself what I gain from making myself bleed. What do I gain from letting the grief bubbled up into red streams and slide down my wrist. Then I remember that's the reason. The grief slides away, it leaves, even if only for a minute.

I sigh and slice the blade across my fingers, watching the sadness slink away like a snake excluded from a game. Or like the end of a fire work fizzling away from the explosion. If I move down to my wrist I can make a waterfall. I love waterfalls, red or not they're strong but really really pretty. Like Blue. Strange I never thought slicing my wrist open like this would make me think of Blue.

I wonder what she would do if she found out I do this. She'd probably get angry at me, then probably leave me. She'd never want to talk to me again, she'd probably glare me down in the halls and make me room with someone else.

Waterfalls are really... pretty...

Blue POV

After a rather eventless night with Red and Green, I wake up to Sapphire kicking our door in. Red and Green quickly sit up and (finally) stop making out and I look up to Sapp expectantly.

"Kid," she gasps and on assumption she's talking about Yellow I'm up in seconds. "Knife, blood, help."

I can't tell if my heart is even working anymore but within a minute or two I'm in Sapp's room and Krys is nowhere to be seen. What I do see however Is Yellow on the lowest rafter and her arm dangling over the side, blood dribbling down it and a sailor's knife on the floor.

The room drains of all noise and color as my throat tightens up and my entire body starts to tremble. All I can see is blood and the knife and all I can think of is the fact that _Yellow hurts herself like this._ Bile rises at the back of my throat as tears sting my eyes and Sapp yells at me to get it together.

I reach up and shake her shoulder, my voice cracking as I call her name, my thoughts swirling with the fear that she's killed herself.

I can't deal with this again. I can't. I've dealt with this once before and that's one time to many. She can't end up like N. She can't. She has to be alive, she has to be alive. She has to.

The next thing I know I'm pushed aside and Sapphire is shaking her, telling me to try and breathe. I try and try and I almost have it but then Yellow finally sits up and asks why we're yelling. She looks at her hand, and then to me and the fear in her eyes makes me start crying again.

She looks like she thinks I'm angry, like she's afraid I'm just going to yell at her until my voice gives way. I try to force something out, anything; her name, a question, a plea anything. But I choke on everything that tries to get out; I choke on it all and crumple to the floor.

I can't seem to stop the shivers wracking my spine, nor the aching in my head or the weird feeling in my chest.

Am I... scared?

Yellow POV

Sapphire dams my waterfall as Blue breaks hers. That's funny I don't think I've ever seen her upset like this. She stares at the floor choking and blubbering for a long time while Sapphire keeps piling rough white over my dried up river, eliminating any possible chance of red running out from it. Such a shame it looked so nice too.

I watch numbly as the red soaks through the white. Blue chokes out a strangled why before spiky one and a boy with blood eyes come in and drag her down the hall, saying something about The Quiet Room. Once she's gone I stand up and Sapphire steps in front of the knife, but I ignore her and blankly walk back to my room.

I sit on my bed, my back to the door which I left open. I couldn't find the strength to close it. Sabrina comes in and sits next to me and asks what I did. I tell her it doesn't matter now. She asks again and I say the same thing. She asks again but louder and more irritated so I go on instinct and I tell her I made myself bleed.

She asks me why and I get irritated myself and say that doesn't matter either but she keeps asking. I snap and tell her cause I deserve to hurt and she goes quiet. She tells me to show her. It's not a question, it's an order. I ask her which ones she wants to see and stares at me like a deer in headlights.

I get impatient and roll both my sleeves up, turning to her and holding out both of my arms. Her fingers ghost over each scar and cut and tiny red line before she abruptly stands up and leaves; leaving me to blankly stare at the wall again.

I quickly get bored and count the minutes Blue's gone, ignoring both Sapphire and Krystal when they come in and talk to me. They're trying to get me to come get something to eat. I've screwed up enough today if I eat I'll only make it worse. Ignoring Flannery is harder but I manage. She leaves crying and bile rises in the back of my throat.

A girl with long navy hair pulled back by two yellow hair clips comes in and sits next to me, joining me in staring at the wall. We're both silent for the amount of time it takes a child to learn that the world is a terrible place and then she tells me guilt is trying to eat me up and asks what happened.

I tell her I let the waterfall out and she nods understandingly, her eyes taking on an odd sort of glaze. We're silent again, and eventually she slithers away like a forlorn snake who thought of one too many faults it had.

I briefly wonder when Blue will come back before someone picks me up and hauls my limp body in the direction of the cafeteria. I don't get a good look at them but I can tell from the uneven breathing and the sudden appearance of the navy-haired girl saying something about her that it's Sapphire.

"I hope you know I'm not eating no matter what you do," I say calmly and don't even blink at the lack of stuttering, unlike Sapphire who freezes up and almost lets go of me.

"I don't care."


End file.
